Waiting…

I have been having a hard time lately being patient.

And let me tell you, patience is not one of my virtues. I am one of the most impatient people in the world. I will refuse to go in drive-thru at Starbucks if there are more than 3 cars in front of me. I would rather park and go inside as to not wait.

I’m pretty bad.

Right now the biggest obstacle Charles and I are facing is timing.

Charles is 25. His baby clock is ticking.

I am 20. Mine is ticking because of him.

It seems every-time I log onto Facebook or Tumblr, someone is announcing their pregnancy or taking pictures of their child.

And I’m like. -__________-

Emery is unamused.

I realize that everything is in God’s timing, we cannot control anything in this life but I am so tired of always being told to wait.

I want the nice house that people my age have, I want the wedding band on my finger, I want a baby.

I’m tired of this worrying about if Charles is going to deploy. I’m tired of worrying if he’s going to be given new orders and moved and I’m not going to be able to do anything about it.

I’m tired of renting and living in this crappy townhouse that I HATE with an absolute passion. It’s in a crappy area and it’s ugly and we’re paying WAY too much for it.

I’m tired of ALWAYS being broke. We can litterally never catch a break. Which I guess would be much worse with a child, but still. Anytime anything good happens to us, we’re just set 10 steps backwards again. It’s frustrating and heart breaking and I’m so sick of it.

But what can I do? Absolutely nothing.

And that’s the hardest part.

I cannot do anything to change it. I know that I have to wait.

And we all know how good I am at that.

The way to my stomach… oh and uh, heart too

I promise when I’m not absolutely and completly exhausted I will post something about food… but for the mean time here’s a few things I appreciate.. ALOT

Vodka. The good stuff… although the cheap stuff is a good mixer
Coffee. Again the good stuff. None of this American shit. The good hard Italian espressos, macchiatos, and mochas.
Pasta. Literally in any sauce. Alfredo, Marinara, Burgundy Wine… all of it.
Bacon. The good thick kind. The expensive kind that weighs ALOT.
Choice cuts of Steak. Nothing like biting into a perfectly marbled steak.
Cheesecake. The REAL kind.
Chocolate. Preferrably by Lindt, but when crisis arises, any will suffice.
Rally Burgers in Hanford California… not the greatest location but OH My! The burgers, the bacon, the perfect amount of processed cheese and tons of salt. It’s a heart attack in every bite, but delicious in every sense.
In N Out. Enough said. Nothing like good fresh burgers.
Chick Fil A. Best chicken nuggets ever. Criss-Cut fries. Milk shakes that make you gain 10 pounds, but worth every delicious moment.
Macaroni and Cheese. I’m a snob for my gourmet mac and cheese, always looking for new bacon, crackers, cheeses to add, but sometimes nothing beats the stuff from childhood in the blue box. Hey I’m in college, give me a break!

Country must be country wide…

I love country music.
Honestly, I think it is the greatest music ever. It talks about life, love, and evrythign in between.
Granted I’m sure my taste in country music is not considered true country music, since I love the new things, but let me just say… I love my country.

So whether or not you care, here’s my list of top favorites right now…

Cruise- Florida Georgia Line
Why Wait- Rascal Flatts
Honey Bee- Blake Shelton
Hard to Love- Lee Brice
Who are you when I’m not looking- Blake Shelton
Fastest Girl in Town- Miranda Lambert
Better Dig Two- The Band Perry
Beer Money- Kip Moore
Springsteen- Eric Church
I like Girls who Drink Beer- Toby Keith

I am worth it. Jesus has done more than enough to prove that…

I have had a rough few days. No, let’s edit that.  I have had a few VERY ROUGH days.

My soon to be sister in law has taken it upon herself to get involved in mine and fiance’s business, and has not made life enjoyable for me the past few days. She has done everything from blame me to spending all of Charlies’ money to question my motives in being with him. And let me say, it has taken a HECK of a lot of prayers to keep from yelling at her. So I’ve cried instead. And I’ve prayed. Because she is not worth it. She is of no value to my life.

I struggle daily with worrying about what really is worth it in life. Is it worth it to stress about that paper you know is going to get done? Who cares if you can get it done now or if it takes all night. It will get done. So get some coffee or Coke and breathe.

Read the Bible. That has been the best therapy. Reading the greatest love story ever told. Knowing that I am worth it. I am beautiful and strong and lovely and Jesus died to know me. I am strong and capable.

It doesn’t matter what she thinks of me. I don’t care. I know that I am loved by not only the greatest fiance in the world, but by the King of the Universe. And that is more than good enough for me.

Sometimes it takes a lot to know that you can make peace with yourself, especially in the middle of writing papers and still trying to be a responsible adult. But when life gets rough I know that I have a Savior who will comfort and protect me. He will help me get through it all.

Blessings, E

About me

I am attempting to write yet ANOTHER blog. Hopefully this one will not end like my other attempts, because let’s face it,  I am running out of email addresses to use.

I am Emery. I am a Junior at Azusa Pacific University. I am studying Sociology and Political Science, but food will always be my first love. After graduation I hope to attend the Culinary Institute of America and further my expertise in all things food.

I am engaged to my love Charles. He is a Corpsman currently serving our country in the U.S Navy. He is wonderful. There are literally no words to describe him. He is my better half, my heart, my everything.

This blog is food, love, and the life of being a college student in a long distance military relationship.

“In love with love.”